Director Timur (Wanted) Bekmambetov’s Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter should be the type of hoot-and-holler horror flick where my nearest and nerdiest friends can get together and cheer as our 16^th president slaughters droves of the undead. Why, then, did I mostly dislike what I saw? This isn’t a film that has anything insightful to say about slavery or the Civil War, and I’ve celebrated more tacky and tasteless schlock than this (which reassigns some of history’s most significant deaths — Lincoln’s mother, for one — to bloodsuckers rather than bad milk). Based on the novel written by Seth Grahame-Smith (who also wrote the screenplay), the film’s problems can be chalked up to discordant dialogue and problematic plot holes that devalue his promising high-concept.

Admittedly, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter does offer a gory good time when it showcases both young and old Abe (Benjamin Walker) driving his silver-edged ax into the hearts and heads of socially and otherworldly high-powered vampires. The targets are assigned by his mentor, Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper), whose accent jumps from American Southern to Indifferent European (which seems to be a narrative tonal influence). Though his focus ultimately shifts from monster hunting to politics, Abe’s mission never strays far from ridding the South of the eternal Adam (Rufus Sewell) and his vampire army, utilizing the help of his wife Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and his trusty black friend Will Johnson (Anthony Mackie), both of whom are as mysteriously ageless as the undead antagonists when compared to President Lincoln. Was this commentary on the physical toll war can have on a president, or did the make-up department just run out of prosthetic wrinkles?

With Caleb Deschanel’s effective cinematography edited into a kinetic whirlwind and color-corrected to the point of a vomit-inducing palette, there is a haphazard sloppiness to the production that feels more the result of a workman’s assignment rather than the joy of filmmaking. This obvious lack of love results in an uninspired attempt to blatantly bastardize history. Given the popularity of films like Inglourious Basterds, it lacks the zeal required to skewer American popular culture rather than merely mash it up. I didn’t read the book, but I have a feeling something got lost in translation. If that ain’t the case, than Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is an example of uninformed readers (and following suit, studio executives) making a mountain out of a rather ineffectual mole hill.

But then, this is a film about Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires — and maybe it’s the best possible version of that story. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t, on the occasion, have a good time.