This week, I talk to my dad about why he hates gaming so much. Things get political as we touch on gaming violence, and apparently my dad’s a secret comedian.

Shaun: So, dad, you’re not a big fan of videogames.

Dad: Not really, no. When are you going to grow up and stop playing them?

S: Alright, well I guess that’s my cue. That’s a really interesting perspective. Tons of adults enjoy playing games that are created specifically for them. You know that, right?

D: That doesn’t mean anything to me. Plenty of people also voted for –

S: –okay, let’s try to stay on topic here, as much as I love debating politics with you. You know the average age of gamers? It’s fo—

Dad: –Four?

S: No, dad, I was already answering. 40. 40 years old.

D: Right, but that’s an average. If a hundred year old man plays a videogame, that throws your entire number off.

S: I mean…you’re not wrong, but somehow I don’t think hundred year old men is exactly a huge demographic in gaming. In anything.

D: Now who’s the one being ageist?

S: Wow, you’re really on fire today dad. Lucky me.

D: Let me ask you a question.

S: Can’t wait.

D: Don’t you think, at least to some extent, that your video games have played a part in the increase in gun violence we’ve seen?

S: First of all, they’re not mine. I didn’t invent video games. Second of all, no, I don’t think that, and certainly not any more than any other medium. Third of all –

D: But in the game, you are actually killing people. I saw one where you kill police officers. You actually kill police officers.

S:  I think you’re using the word “actually” maybe a little too liberally…

D: How can you tell me that there’s not a correlation when a kid can sit in his room and play a police killer simulator?

S: Okay, is it in the realm of possibility that a deranged individual, who already has mental health problems, would conceive the idea of play Grand Theft Auto as a “rehearsal.” Yes. It could absolutely happen and is extremely unfortunate. But to say that games “cause” violence is one of the oldest, most wrong misconceptions in the history of the medium.

D: I saw a report that linked it together. A report, Shaun.

S: A REPORT!? Oh my goodness. I wasn’t aware. Was it from the same channel that “reported” Barack Obama was in cohoots with Saddam? In cohoots, dad!

D: Now you’re being silly.

S: I read a report from a source that’s actually reliable that said that there is no proven correlation between games and violence. At all.

D: Where’d you hear that?

S: I want so badly to say some super reputable magazine, drop this mic that I don’t have, and walk out. But I don’t remember exactly. It was from multiple sources.

D: Multiple reliable sources that you can’t remember. That’s very convenient.

S: No, I take that back. There was a link. If anything, gaming is cathartic. A healthy way for aggressive people to get out their aggression.

D: But if it exists as a way to get out aggression, then doesn’t that mean it’s a violent thing that extends beyond “just a game?”

S: I’m just saying gaming is not a “cause” of behavior – it comes down to perception, and how people treat these games. Years ago, third world country militaries would sit recruits down to watch AHNOLD action movies to learn how to kill. Are his movies what made them so violent? Or were they already violent?

D: No. It was his movies.

S: My boom questions don’t work if you lie about your answer. Besides, you like his movies.

D: Maybe I’m violent.

S: Why are you talking like this? You never talk like this. People hear “interview” and suddenly have so many jokes.

D: Maybe I’m just trying to be entertaining.

S: Probably not in the way you think. Let’s shift gears. You like to argue that gaming is a waste of time.

D: (My dad doesn’t answer, as Sean Hannity has just come back from commercial break. I watch Fox News for the next 15 minutes).

(It goes back to commercial break)

D: Were you paying attention? Important things are happening in the world, and you need to be aware.

S: Kill me now. Can we finish this thing? I made a point that you like to argue gaming is a waste of time.

D: Because it is a waste of time. There’s so many other things you could be doing.

S: To a small extent. If you’re playing games in lieue of a full-time job, then yeah, you’re probably mismanaging your day.

D: It’s a waste of time if you’re home. Even after a job.

S: So you don’t have hobbies? Last time I checked, you do more than work, eat, and sleep.

D: No, you can have hobbies.

S: That’s what I’m saying! Gaming is my hobby. It’s not better or worse than your hobbies. It’s just mine!

D: My hobbies are more productive.

S: I think you’re being hypocritical. Let’s compare it with your hobbies.

D: Okay.

S: Alright. How about watching news for four hours every night?

D: That’s different. I’m informing myself.

S: I don’t know that watching the shows you watch classifies as “informing” anything, but that’s a conversation for another day. Fine. How about playing card games until the early hours of the morning with your brothers.

D: But you just said it.

S: …yes I did?

D: You just said it. I’m playing with my family. We are interacting and talking. I’m not holed up in my room eating pizza and playing a game by myself.

S: That’s not very nice. I had a fat phase. And “interacting with your brothers” is rich, because it’s completely silent until one of you makes a play and yells to taunt, or one of you disagrees and starts arguing. I’d also like to point out games are super social these days. You can play local multiplayer in the same room, or get online and talk with friends.

D: It’s not the same.

S: Oh my – okay, and lastly, I think it’s worth saying that I sort of need a hobby where, at least occasionally, I can spend some time alone and recharge. Can you understand that?

D: No. I like people. I like talking and being around people and visiting.

S: …

D: Talking to people is how I recharge.

S: So you don’t understand how gaming could be my choice of hobby when I want some alone time from people because they are frustrating?

D: Not really.

S: Do me a favor – read this interview when it’s done and you might have an idea of why I’d need alone time.