My Top 5 Most Hated Items in Mario Kart

I was recently playing Mario Kart with my cousins and it occurred to me just how annoying the items are in this game. So many of the items in this game (and in the others) are terrible; not to mention way too specific to be truly useful. Developers, take note: This is my list of items I hate and never want to see again in another Mario Kart game.

5. Bullet Bill

When compared to the power of the Star, Bullet Bills are weak by comparison. They can be taken out by shells and their duration can be anywhere from 2 to 5 seconds. Not great. It seems contingent on how many people you pass, but it’s lame and I’d much rather just kill the AI’s with a Star, not some Bullet Bill that may spit me out on the edge of a cliff and send me to my death.

4. Thunder Cloud

Whoever came up with this idea, I want to clobber them in the face. The Thunder Cloud is supposed to be something of a risk-reward, but it’s more obnoxious than anything. Instead of helping me, I either fly off the edge because I have no control over the speed boost, or because I’m trying desperately to get the cloud off me before it shrinks me. Its function is stupid, and when I’m in 8th, I do not want this item in my arsenal. At all. Oh, and the fact that it activates automatically sucks too. Don’t ever come back in my life, you stupid cloud.

3. Lightning

There are a lot of items that work similarly to Lightning (take the POW button, for example), but this one is hands down the most annoying item from that category. There’s no way to dodge, it’s unexpected, and extremely inconvenient; like when it hits me while I’m airborne and sends me falling to my death. Very, very annoying.

2. Spiny Shell

How is this item going to be helpful when I’m losing in 8th? What’s the point? The point of this item is to simply sabotage the first place racer. It’s a cop-out that’s too specific to be of any real help. I’m tired of losing all because of this item; I’d rather rely on strategy and driving technique to win instead of a flying, spiny shell to save the day. The item may have been revised in Mario Kart 7 to hit all drivers along with the first, but it still doesn’t change how frustrating it is from the older installments.

1. Blooper

I don’t know why the Blooper keeps coming back in the recent Mario Kart games. This is literally the most useless item ever. In no way is it practical, because the only drivers swerving after a Blooper is used are the AI’s, not the players. Combine this with the fact that the DS games are equipped with a map on the lower screen, it makes the Blooper even more pathetic. If I can’t see out of the top screen (which I usually still can), I can just drive with the map for 10 seconds or so. Problem solved!