“There was even going to be a party for you. A big party that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube. Of course, he couldn’t come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn’t come, either, because you don’t have any other friends because of how unlikable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: ‘Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall NOT be mourned.’ That’s exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted, so that’s funny, too.”
This is our list of the top 25 female characters of all-time. We’re into the top 10 now, and counting down one by one until we reach the best of the best on Sept. 30.
8) GLaDOS (Portal) – 6 votes/204 points
Shaun: For me, GLaDOS in the original Portal was amusing, but certainly not someone I would credit as being one of the best characters ever. It wasn’t until 2 that she started to demonstrate a lot more depth, and showed that there’s more behind GLaDOS’ dark humor than meets the eye.
Through learning more about Aperture Science during the course of the game, we learn that GLaDOS actually used to be human — kind of — and has a past that makes Chell’s journey look like a slide made of rainbows.
Eventually, enemies become friends, and Chell and GLaDOS team up to take out a worse threat, a development that’s amplified by the fact that you already killed GLaDOS before, and she’s not afraid to remind you of it.
In a medium where one-note villains are a dime a dozen, it’s refreshing to see an antagonist with a few more layers than that — especially when that antagonist is an immensely entertaining, sharply written AI trained in emotional manipulation.
Chris: It’s difficult to find unique experiences in gaming anymore. Consider the upcoming Super Smash Bros. games for the Wii U and 3DS. Remember several months ago when a potential roster leaked out, and we made fun of it because it had characters like Duck Hunt Dog and Dark Pit on it? Well, fast forward to the present day and every single character in that spoiler list was spot on.
Portal went under the radar a little bit when it was first released, tucked inside the Orange Box with heavy hitters Half-Life 2 and Team Fortress 2. Word began to spread over time, however, that there was a charming puzzle experience awaiting those who decided to give it a shot. And if you were an early adopter of Portal, you got the chance to experience the game before “THE CAKE IS A LIE!” was run into the freaking ground.
Portal’s tight platforming mechanics and intriguing portal gun (seriously, remember how fun it was just to look at yourself through a portal or create strange momentum loops at first?) carried a lot of the weight, but it was GLaDOS who was the star of the show.
GLaDOS is ruthless. She tries to trick test subjects into jumping into lava for cake, or hurling themselves into spikes because their parents might be dead, or lying on the ground giving up on the challenge. She seems to have no limits to the levels of sarcasm and caustic insults she’ll deploy. Even when you succeed and clear a room, there’s just more portals and more horrible deaths waiting for you — and GLaDOS will happily narrate all of it.
Harsh, unrelenting and at times hilarious, GLaDOS deserves her spot on this list. In fact, our top eight is full of characters who received a ton of votes and points, so it’s the creme de la creme from here on out.
Joseph: And I’m back to knowing what I’m talking about. GLaDOS was a nice change from the psychotic bad guys we so often see. It’s not hard to be evil when you have no conscience. Sure, GLaDOS didn’t have a
conscience, but she didn’t really want you dead. She wanted to run experiments, and thought nothing of using humans in place of lab rats.
A small piece of me understands that logic. We, as humans, experiment on lower forms of life with a small regard for the ethical ramifications. We do what we can to lessen suffering, but that doesn’t change the fact that the roach was alive and is now dead. Does anybody care? Should a highly advanced form of life care about us?
For GLaDOS, the answer is no. And even if she wasn’t amoral, the comical way she treats Chell makes her slightly endearing. For her part in a great serious, we honor you, GLaDOS.
Jason: Games with silent protagonists are tricky. Games with silent protagonists that also feature sarcastic evil robots trying to kill you in a death maze, are award winning. That pretty much sums up GLaDOS in a nutshell. She’s your constantly talking antagonist who is out to kill you with deadly puzzles and insults about how stupid you are and how your parents never loved you.
If you haven’t’ played the Portal games, you should. Like, right now. There is a reason why it’s two main characters made this list, and frankly you’re missing out if you don’t go play them and see why.
Michaela: The most hilarious yet sadistic villain I’ve come across in gaming, and yet she’s a robot. GLaDOS is obsessed with results, and she won’t stop until she gets them. She’s cruel, but with the way she delivers her lines so nonchalantly, it’s impossible not to get a kick out of her. She’s hands down my favorite part of Portal, and it’s the perfect excuse for me to listen to “Still Alive” over and over.
Cary: There are moments during my day in which I become so utterly disappointment in the human race that my brain can’t help but laugh sarcastically while conjuring up the phrase: “Your entire life has been a mathematical error.” For that, I’m eternally grateful to GLaDOS. She’s one of the most beautifully written characters in gaming. Her quasi-evolution between Portal 1 and 2 is brilliantly rendered as she goes from tormentor to companion (who still torments). You initially play the Portal games for the puzzles, but you come back for GLaDOS, because that’s exactly what she wouldn’t want.
TOP 25 FEMALE CHARACTERS
Introduction/Honorable Mention
Gray Areas 