Category: Facts of Life

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Of Beds and Backs

Chris

I remember being a kid and thinking life was complicated. It wasn’t. Having to decide between a half pint of chocolate and regular milk in the lunch line was not a tough decision compared to the choices that lay ahead. But there were a lot of things that seemed more important at the time.

Decisions weren’t the only things that were easier back then. Once upon a time, I could sleep anywhere at any time. Stay up until 4 in the morning? No worries; I was up at 7 or 8 o’clock sharp feeling refreshed enough to go for another day. Hell, waking up at that time was almost automatic, regardless of when I went to sleep. And I slept in all kinds of weird places — random couches, an assortment of beds when jumping between staying with family members, even the floor on nights when parties got a little too raucous.

Last night I realized that those days are completely behind me. I have about three beds I can sleep in comfortably. Everything else is broken. Sure, some beds are still adequate for a decent night’s sleep, but there’s only a handful that don’t leave me with a sore back in the morning. And the most recent example was sleeping in Dave’s Tempur-Pedic bed when the ATB crew was in Phoenix this past weekend to celebrate his birthday. Continue reading “Of Beds and Backs”

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Words to Live By: Death Philosophy, Redux

Shaun

In the second installment in my “Words to Live By” series, I take a look at death. Again.

In the first installment, I took a look at how people die. But the how is a variable, dependent on the individual. What’s not a variable is the end result, which brings me to my point. Everybody dies. And then what? One of the most common and divisive topics regarding death is the decision to be buried or cremated. And here are my thoughts. Continue reading “Words to Live By: Death Philosophy, Redux”

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Meet the New Year, Same as the Old Year

Chris

I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s.

My holiday priority list has already been pretty well established around these parts. It’s Christmas first, then everything else way down the list. Thanksgiving’s No. 2. Independence Day’s probably third because of all the good food and fireworks.

New Year’s? It’s somewhere between Bastille Day and Columbus Day. Hell, Columbus Day might be above New Year’s, and it’s a holiday that celebrates an explorer who screwed up just about everything he did. Continue reading “Meet the New Year, Same as the Old Year”

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Taylor Swift and Besties

Shaun

Dear Diary,

The existential quandary of all existential quandary, the likes of which I’m not convinced I’ve ever been faced with before. An earth shattering revelation have I unintentionally just now stumbled upon. If you had asked me who, if I had any choice in the world, I would want to be my best celebrity friend, I would have told you Steve Nash with nary a hesitation. But now, a new candidate has entered the fray.

Taylor Swift and I are destined to be best friends. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but my intentions are completely plutonic. I just think we’d have a really fun time together. It’s nothing original; I’m sure I share this desire with many an American teenage girl. But I can’t deny it. Continue reading “Taylor Swift and Besties”

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Number One With a Bullet

Chris

Ah, bullet points. You’re a writer’s best friend. Can’t come up with a coherent column? Use bullet points! Then you can put together a collection of thoughts with no joining thread whatsoever. All you need is a stream of consciousness and halfway decent ideas and you’re set.

Hell, Bill Simmons has made a career out of this. So I don’t think I can take too much flack for dipping into the well once — after all, I’m knee-deep in Skyrim now, and those who have played know what a time sink that can be. So without further ado, here’s a whole bunch of holiday-themed bullets in the last post before the big day… Continue reading “Number One With a Bullet”

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Words To Live By: Death Philosophy

Shaun

This week I’m starting a new installment in my weekly blogs called Words to Live By. This week, here are some of my life philosophies regarding death. I feel like falling to your death is not a bad way to go. If you can reconcile the fact that yes, you are going to die from this fall, and come to terms with it, you can actually sort of enjoy the moment. Some people pay upwards of 500 dollars for skydiving. You get to do it for free. With that said, I would not want to die in a plane crash. … Continue reading Words To Live By: Death Philosophy

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‘Tis the Season

Chris

I’ve mentioned it on the show a couple of times, but this is my favorite holiday by far.

I’ve got nothing against the other holidays. I’m not much of a partier, so New Year’s Eve doesn’t do much for me. Easter and Halloween have lost a lot of their appeal because I don’t eat nearly as much candy as I did when I was a kid. Thanksgiving is always a disjointed experience when you’re a divorce kid, because you never really have all the family together. And while Bastille Day is a close second — I love me some Bastille Day — it just pales in comparison to Christmas.

(Actually, the runner-up would be Independence Day, because I love the setup — burgers, hot dogs, barbecue, picnics, fireworks. Also, AMERICA. Hard to argue with that.

So once the calendar hits December, I get excited. After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Continue reading “‘Tis the Season”

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Long Distance Relationships: The Ballad of Seamus and Jaxie

Shaun

In a world where cats can talk, there once existed two cats: Seamus and Jaxie.

As you may have guessed, Seamus and Jaxie were in love, and their love was as real and pure as cat love could possibly be — the kind of love that drastically transmutes perspectives and seemingly ionizes the very air around their adorable cat bodies. Tragically, as most love stories are, the yarn spun from the spool of their lives could not remain intertwined indefinitely. Because even in the cat world, life gets in the way.

Seamus hailed from the harsh, Irish desert, where he was the slave to a cruel cat lord. The terms of his enslavement were dire; so much so, in fact, that Seamus was rendered ignorant to the world outside the walls of his captivity, blinded to the possibilities that life could hold for him. Majestic fountains, where milk flows like water. Spools of yarn, as far as the eye can see. Low-flying birds, every direction you turn. And, above all, love. All of it eluded Seamus. That is, until the day he met Jaxie. Continue reading “Long Distance Relationships: The Ballad of Seamus and Jaxie”