Going the Distance 006: Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo
Chris: “I finished Skyward Sword last night (okay … this morning), so this seems appropriate. By the way, I stand by my five-star review. If I could raise it above a perfect five without looking ridiculous (I’m looking at you, Yahoo!), I would.Oh, right, the comic. We’ll have another reader-submitted one next week, so stay tuned.” In Going the Distance, our main character, “You,” has to manage to make his way to delicious cake. Sounds simple, right? But there are deadly spikes to deal with, and a host of other problems that appear each time. Let’s just say You … Continue reading Going the Distance 006: Doo-Doo-Doo-Doo
‘Tis the Season
I’ve mentioned it on the show a couple of times, but this is my favorite holiday by far.
I’ve got nothing against the other holidays. I’m not much of a partier, so New Year’s Eve doesn’t do much for me. Easter and Halloween have lost a lot of their appeal because I don’t eat nearly as much candy as I did when I was a kid. Thanksgiving is always a disjointed experience when you’re a divorce kid, because you never really have all the family together. And while Bastille Day is a close second — I love me some Bastille Day — it just pales in comparison to Christmas.
(Actually, the runner-up would be Independence Day, because I love the setup — burgers, hot dogs, barbecue, picnics, fireworks. Also, AMERICA. Hard to argue with that.
So once the calendar hits December, I get excited. After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Continue reading “‘Tis the Season”
Long Distance Relationships: The Ballad of Seamus and Jaxie
In a world where cats can talk, there once existed two cats: Seamus and Jaxie.
As you may have guessed, Seamus and Jaxie were in love, and their love was as real and pure as cat love could possibly be — the kind of love that drastically transmutes perspectives and seemingly ionizes the very air around their adorable cat bodies. Tragically, as most love stories are, the yarn spun from the spool of their lives could not remain intertwined indefinitely. Because even in the cat world, life gets in the way.
Seamus hailed from the harsh, Irish desert, where he was the slave to a cruel cat lord. The terms of his enslavement were dire; so much so, in fact, that Seamus was rendered ignorant to the world outside the walls of his captivity, blinded to the possibilities that life could hold for him. Majestic fountains, where milk flows like water. Spools of yarn, as far as the eye can see. Low-flying birds, every direction you turn. And, above all, love. All of it eluded Seamus. That is, until the day he met Jaxie. Continue reading “Long Distance Relationships: The Ballad of Seamus and Jaxie”
At the Buzzer (12/01/11)
Episode 22: Enter the Buzzkill — The guys debut an epic new Buzzerbeater intro, lobby for more balls in schools, and welcome back a forgotten segment by Buzzkilling “The Matrix.” Also, Chris recaps the worst Thanksgiving ever, Dave uncovers his rich school upbringing, and Shaun tries to learn slow-motion karate kicks. Headlines Toronto school bans balls from playground Parents name child after video game Investigation exposes awful school lunches Secondary Segment — Buzzkill “The Matrix” Credits Music: “So This is Christmas” by John Lennon “Champion” by KJACK music beds “Main Theme (Valkyria Chronicles)” by Hitoshi Sakimoto “With Mila’s Divine Protection” … Continue reading At the Buzzer (12/01/11)
Christmas Comes Early
Christmas came early for me this year, right at the “official” start of the holiday season no less. On the day after Thanksgiving, the NBPA and the NBA agreed to a new CBA, and the groundwork was set for the 2011-12 season. What does this mean for YOU, the average fan?
Well sadly, not much has changed for the average fan, as most casual NBA fans don’t start watching until Christmas anyways. Regardless, the NBA season is upon us, and there are a few things to look back on from the past few months, and look forward to in the rest of the season. Continue reading “Christmas Comes Early”
Going the Distance 005: Hero to Zero
This week’s comic was submitted by Douglas Fiala. So if even Batman and Superman can’t get it, how does You stand a chance? In Going the Distance, our main character, “You,” has to manage to make his way to delicious cake. Sounds simple, right? But there are deadly spikes to deal with, and a host of other problems that appear each time. Let’s just say You fails more often than You succeeds. After all, it wouldn’t be much of a quest if You could just get cake whenever You wanted, would it? For more background on the comic or info … Continue reading Going the Distance 005: Hero to Zero
Review: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
During some of the buzz leading up to last week’s release of The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, a few gaming outlets dared to wonder the impossible: Could Skyward Sword be better than Ocarina of Time?
At first, I’m sure a few people found that idea to be outlandish. OoT is held up as the gold standard in gaming, after all; it received a litany of awards and perfect 10s when it came out more than a decade ago, and introduced the Z-targeting system found in hundreds of games today. And now this upstart game on a dying console was supposed to supplant what some would call the best game ever?
Well, believe the hype, folks. Skyward Sword is the best Zelda game ever made. Continue reading “Review: The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword”
Kinect the Dots
Is it better to be hated or ignored? That is the question the Microsoft Kinect set out to answer when it launched. Although it initially sold well, the Kinect, along with the Sony Move, has gone on to be one of the greatest technological gaming failures of the last decade. Let’s count the ways. Continue reading “Kinect the Dots”
At the Buzzer (11/24/11)
Episode 21: ATB Thanksgiving Special — The guys talk about their Thanksgiving plans, run through a Headlines segment full of food stories, do a Turkey Day Buzz Off and give thanks in Buzzerbeater. Also, Chris has to work on a holiday, Dave is confused by cavemen, and Shaun goes into a tunnel mid-episode. Headlines Congress rules that pizza is a vegetable Disappointed man throws molotov at Taco Bell Study says men eat more when women are around Secondary Segment — Buzz Off Cranberry Sauce vs. Stuffing Playing Thanksgiving sports, or watching Thanksgiving sports Pumpkin Pie vs. Apple Pie Credits Music: … Continue reading At the Buzzer (11/24/11)
Sportscenter
With my sports hate reaching an all-time high after last weekend’s events, I find myself trying to find some solace. As I watched Sportscenter that night and tried to figure out just went wrong, I was hit with a reminder of how good Sportscenter used to be, and how far it’s fallen.
Watch this clip from the golden years and see how good it used to be. Don’t worry, I’ll wait.
OK, now let’s talk. Back then it was the personalities of Sportscenter that made it good. Guys like Keith Olbermann, Chris Berman, Dan Patrick, Stuart Scott (back in the day), and my personal favorite Kenny Mayne helped grow my sports obsession to the heights that it has reached today. Continue reading “Sportscenter”
