People’s capacity for settling is staggering.

I’m no exception. My entire life has been one of stark contradiction, dictated by both faceless society and those closest to me. Their words, telling me to stop at nothing to pursue what makes me happy and reach the depths of my potential, and yet their actions and reflected beliefs conditioning me to place no priority higher than that of reaching certain goals as deemed appropriate by the general public’s conventional wisdom. To reach a socially acceptable end, regardless of the means. Attaining goals for the goals sake.

When I chose to get an English degree, I inherently made an entire series of decisions that would seal the next seven years of my life. After all, law was the next logical progression; not because I particularly liked (or even cared about) the field, but because I was told by family/friends/society that it was the only really viable career possible with my area of study. I didn’t forge ahead and take a chance, because I couldn’t possibly conjure that route as a possibility. How could I? Much like the idea of “censored vocabulary” explored in George Orwell’s 1984, if a thought process or idea is foreign to you or completely absent altogether, it’s difficult to formulate those thoughts on your own.

So instead of forging ahead, taking chances, and finding what it was I really loved, I took the safe track and settled for the choice that was put in front of me by everyone but myself. The world told me it’s better to spend your life wondering “what if” then to actually find out for yourself and deal with whatever consequences await. Continue reading “Career and Life”