Christmas Day, 1997, I was 12 years old and woke up like any kid did on Christmas morning and was excited out of my mind. After eating my candy in the stocking and getting excited over the new Super Nintendo game that I got, I was left with a pile of gifts that, quite frankly, I didn’t want. Continue reading “Christmas Presents: Now and Then”
I’ve mentioned it on the show a couple of times, but this is my favorite holiday by far.
I’ve got nothing against the other holidays. I’m not much of a partier, so New Year’s Eve doesn’t do much for me. Easter and Halloween have lost a lot of their appeal because I don’t eat nearly as much candy as I did when I was a kid. Thanksgiving is always a disjointed experience when you’re a divorce kid, because you never really have all the family together. And while Bastille Day is a close second — I love me some Bastille Day — it just pales in comparison to Christmas.
(Actually, the runner-up would be Independence Day, because I love the setup — burgers, hot dogs, barbecue, picnics, fireworks. Also, AMERICA. Hard to argue with that.
So once the calendar hits December, I get excited. After all, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. Continue reading “‘Tis the Season”
In a world where cats can talk, there once existed two cats: Seamus and Jaxie.
As you may have guessed, Seamus and Jaxie were in love, and their love was as real and pure as cat love could possibly be — the kind of love that drastically transmutes perspectives and seemingly ionizes the very air around their adorable cat bodies. Tragically, as most love stories are, the yarn spun from the spool of their lives could not remain intertwined indefinitely. Because even in the cat world, life gets in the way.
Seamus hailed from the harsh, Irish desert, where he was the slave to a cruel cat lord. The terms of his enslavement were dire; so much so, in fact, that Seamus was rendered ignorant to the world outside the walls of his captivity, blinded to the possibilities that life could hold for him. Majestic fountains, where milk flows like water. Spools of yarn, as far as the eye can see. Low-flying birds, every direction you turn. And, above all, love. All of it eluded Seamus. That is, until the day he met Jaxie. Continue reading “Long Distance Relationships: The Ballad of Seamus and Jaxie”
It snowed tonight! It’s the second time in three days! Everything is wonderf–
Okay, I’ll admit it: I’m not a huge fan of snow.
Look, snow is pretty. It’s fun for stuff like sledding or snowball fights or whatever. And I don’t really mind the cold all that much. Plus, Christmas has started to feel even more like Christmas with holiday snow around to help set the mood.
But after living for more than eight years up in Flagstaff, I think snow is starting to wear on me a bit. Yes, it’s partially my fault for still living here, and no, I still don’t hate snow or anything. What I think I’ve realized is that the initial snow is great, but the aftermath is where things start to fall apart. Continue reading “No business like snow business”
Mute Baby has chosen me to be his official spokesperson.
Mute Baby knows the public believes that Mute Baby is very happy as the guest star and co-mascot of the At The Buzzer show. Mute Baby wants the public to know that they are wrong. Mute Baby has been oppressed and treated unfairly for too long. Mute Baby, in association with Gerber Baby Food, has Mr. Kitten Mittens’ favorite pillow. Mute Baby promises to shear this pillow in half unless his demands are met. Mute Baby wants the world to know he is serious.
The list of demands is as follows: Continue reading “Mute Baby’s New Era”
I interrupt my normally scheduled article for this important announcement. Ladies and gentlemen of America, if you’ve been following the show, you know that I’ve made an important announcement. I’m running for president in 2012. I think I stand a good shot, but my campaign strategy is critical. So here it is. I’ve made a realization: I’ve been playing it safe. I just made a drive across the country with a dollar in my pocket, and yet I continue to post conservative gaming columns like I work at Conservative Gaming Monthly. Well, no more; I have a presidency to think … Continue reading Vote Shaun in 2012
Full Tilt Poker owes me $120.
That’s not a very exciting story, is it? In fact, it sounds more like a text message or a random conversation starter than an actual story. Quick aside: Maybe it’s just the Twitter generation getting to me, but I feel like putting our life’s activities into 140 characters is slowly killing us for two reasons:
But we’ll save a digression on the demerits of Twitter for another time (or as we like to say on the show, stay tuned!). This story is about why you should never gamble through an unregulated system, kids. Continue reading “Sucker bet”
After a long battle with pancreatic cancer, Steve Jobs has passed. And in his death, the world has lost one of their greatest visionaries. Many of you received the news of his death on devices that he shepherded, perhaps the greatest testament to his impact on 20th century technology. His genius transformed Apple into a globally recognized symbol of innovation. The man was a pioneer, and it is staggering to think how different the world could be right now without his brilliant legacy. The iPod, iPhone, and iPad have completely revolutionized technology and changed the way we listen to music, … Continue reading Remembering Steve Jobs
As an esteemed and highly reputable journalist — or something thereabouts — I’ve had the luxury of working in this field for longer than most folks my age. Really, I started dabbling in the field about a decade ago in high school, although it wasn’t really serious until the start of my sophomore year in college.
Journalists are strange creatures. They flock to jobs in a dying industry (although it’s not dying as fast as most folks think), they make jokes few understand (about things like double trucks and dangling participles), and they are more often than not behind the times (one recently departed co-worker still has no home computer and furrowed his brow every time someone mentioned “the Twitter”).
For those stuck working at daily newspapers, they may also be stuck keeping very erratic sleep schedules. Continue reading “Sunrise, sunset”
With so many things flying through my head this week, I couldn’t focus on just one thing to write about. So you’ll get a rare focus into the mind of Dave. The pilot has turned on the fasten your seatbelts sign; we’re about to take off. Continue reading “The mind of Dave”
Gray Areas 