Time Traveling Socks: Please Save the Environment

If I could invent anything, it would definitely be time-control socks. I’ve given this some thought.  No such thing, you say? Ridiculous. A hundred years ago, Christopher Columbus said the earth was flat. Now look where we are. One democratic nation, united under cheeseburgers and Lee Greenwood’s I’m Proud to Be an American. If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you? Exactly. Forge your own path. Seize the day.

Now that I’ve broken you down with my argument, I need to explain the idea of the continuum altering footwear. Somewhere, somehow, someone has invented these socks, and it’s up to me to find them. It’s my destiny. Continue reading “Time Traveling Socks: Please Save the Environment”

Freedom of Speech

Congress shall make no law respecting a establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.    

Ah, the First Amendment, one of the founding ideals of why we love this country so much. There are countries in this world still today where if you were to speak ill of the president/dictator/leader du jour, you’d be thrown in prison and locked away. In this country we enjoy such freedoms as allowing people to “occupy” areas in protest as long as they are peacefully assembled.

Unfortunately, some people don’t get what this really means. Continue reading “Freedom of Speech”

Dreams, Nightmares, and Psychic Powers

I often hear people tell me stories about the dreams they had last night. Most of the time the stories are filled with vivid memories and details about specific parts of the dreams and even their thematic meanings.

I’m not one of those people. I’m lucky if I even dream in the first place, let alone remember any of it. I suppose it’s kind of a trade-off: I have a great memory when I’m awake, being able to recall song lyrics, random trivia and specific moments with great detail.

Shaun, on the other hand, can give you a play-by-play on what happened in his sleep last night (and even occasionally wakes up during a good dream to jot down ideas for his writing) — but his brain can’t tell him where he put his keys two seconds ago. Or what time he was supposed to be somewhere. Or what his name is.

Sometimes it feels like I’m missing out. I mean, sure, it’s nice to miss out on nightmares and night terrors and the like. Let me tell you about the few things I do recall. Continue reading “Dreams, Nightmares, and Psychic Powers”

My Blasphemous Opinion on Organized Religion

Well, since today is Easter and all, I figured I should at least talk about something semi religion related. After all, I can talk about video games anytime I want, and in fact I often do. But today is a special day when people all over the country gather together and go to church in order to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. Yet here I am, at home, not doing that. And what better chance to explain why that is then here! So here it is, my super long post about me, organized religion, and why the two of us just don’t get along.

Fair warning to all, there is a real chance I’d be damned to rot in hell by quite a few people if they read this. So, you know, feel free to stay clear of this blog or join Hudson and just enjoy the rideContinue reading “My Blasphemous Opinion on Organized Religion”

Making Millions

Recently I happened to catch a commercial saying that the Mega Millions jackpot had reached $300 million. 300 million smackeroos for buying a $1 ticket and getting some numbers right. Usually you see the people who win these are either the elderly or the backwoods poor people who then have no idea what to do with it when they win. Hell, as we covered on our episode last week, people sometimes even throw away their winning tickets. Now the chances of winning this are slim to none, but seeing that made me wonder, what would I do if I ever did win Mega Millions?

First, let’s quickly look at a story of a person that went broke, and we’ve got a doozy for you: Billy Bob Harrell. Billy Bob won $31 million from the Texas Lottery. Life was good for a while…until he couldn’t say no to anyone, including his wife, who asked for a divorce. Billy Bob literally gave away all his money, falling into depression until he eventually committed suicide.

Now that I’ve thoroughly depressed you, I’ll tell you there’s no way that this would ever happen to me. I’ve worked in finance and banking too long to blow through everything that quickly. I can, however, tell you what I’d do. If this is too logical for you, I apologize. Maybe Shaun can do the “buy your own island and conduct mad scientist experiments” blog post on Friday. Let’s assume for these purposes (because it’s easy) that I took the lump sum and only got about 60% of the $300 million. Let’s also assume I have no kids in this scenario, because…well, I don’t. Continue reading “Making Millions”

My Favorite Meme

There’s a lot to do on the internet. With Farmville, Facebook, and listening to At the Buzzer, there’s always something to do. However, one of my favorite things to do online is laugh at Internet memes. A meme is defined as an image, video, etc. that is passed electronically from one Internet user to another. Usually this means hilarious pictures, and they deliver more often than not. Internet memes generally follow some sort of template along with words to make the image humorous. An example would be this from the TV show The Office:

So, on that thought, I bring you my three favorite memes ever. Continue reading “My Favorite Meme”

Keep Flag Happy.com

Editor’s Note: Shaun and Dave have switched spots this week so Shaun can pimp his new site and Dave can recover from Vegas. I have no doubt that our radio show is going to lead the three of us to great fame and fortune, but for the past few months I have hedged my bets and worked on a side project with a few like-minded friends, just in case. This side project is keepflaghappy.com, and it launched today. I’m going to explain it to you. Keep Flag Happy is a guide to the numerous happy hour specials in Flagstaff, intuitively … Continue reading Keep Flag Happy.com

Number Four With a Bullet

I had thought that I might be able to go back to back on reviews and do Tales of Graces this week. That was a foolish thought considering that Tales games usually last somewhere around 50 to 60 hours. Shaun and I have been playing with our roommates and are maybe 12 hours in so far, and it’s a very solid game. We’ll see if the review can be ready by next week — I’m not of the mindset that I have to beat something to write about it, but I certainly want to be farther into the game than this.

In the meantime, here’s some random thoughts as we fight off all the snow from the past 24 hours. Continue reading “Number Four With a Bullet”

Peachy Keen

I don’t feel like writing anything this week. There, I said it. I’ve pulled back the curtain and given you all front-row access to the creative process. Behind the scenes with yours truly! And this week, yours truly doesn’t care about giving anything useful or interesting whatsoever to read.

Here’s the problem; life as of late has been good. For all the complaining and bitching and general moaning that you’ve had to endure out of my blogs recently — getting old and heartache and some kind of weird cat love analogy — things have suddenly turned solid. My friends are great. I’m at a job that I enjoy. I’m launching a super secret project (stay tuned for more on that). I’ve met a girl who’s so awesome in every way that it defies logic why she even speaks to me. So everything is dandy, and that’s why my writing motivation is gone. Continue reading “Peachy Keen”

The Ballad of Seamus and Janxy II: Breakups

Breaking up is hard. Probably more so in Cat World, where the bonds that tether cat lovers are so exceptionally strong. Seamus knew this, which is why he was so floored at the magnitude to which his cat heart was broken.

His friends tried to reassure him, offering advice on what he could do to ease his pain. Find an especially bouncy ball of yarn. Chase a laser point as it dances across a surface. Stay away from sad songs.

The problem is that all this advice rang hollow, as it is impossible for one cat who has experienced heartbreak to advise another, let alone for a cat whose heart is still intact. One never feels so little motivation for chasing mice than when occupying the depths of the Well of Heartache. And staying away from love songs is a falsity, so common an idea that it has proliferated well beyond its reasonable application, offered from someone who imagines what heartbreak would be like, but who has not experienced it. Love songs are the least of a shattered cats worries.

Try looking through a calendar, with dates like “tour the Cat World museum together” still occupying future panels. Or reaching into your cat wallet and accidentally pulling out a receipt of the hot dogs you bought together at the baseball game, which was the time of your life for every other reason than cat baseball. Or listening to old voicemails only to hear Janxy’s phantom voice, a welcome apparition reminding you of better times that now seem so distant and out of reach you can question whether they happened at all, or were just part of some unfairly joyous catnap dream.

No one told Seamus about that. Continue reading “The Ballad of Seamus and Janxy II: Breakups”