Tag: Movies

Blogs, Entertainment, Shaun2 Comments

Paraboring Activity

Shaun

“I couldn’t use the bathroom with the door closed for a week after watching it.”

“I needed a night light in my room.”

“I stopped watching it halfway, and I still can’t sleep with my door open anymore.”

These are all actual testimonials from some people I know after they watched Paranormal Activity. Well, I finally summoned the courage to see what the hype was. I wanted to be traumatized for life. Instead, I got one man’s idiotic journey to provoke the supernatural, and the world’s most pansy demon. Continue reading “Paraboring Activity”

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Jurassic Park PSA: Raptors are people, too

Shaun

I watched Jurassic Park the other day. I’ve decided that raptors aren’t as bad as people think. Velociraptors have an unwarranted reputation. Put aside your bias generated from years of watching the Jurassic Park propaganda, and I think you’ll agree with me. Raptors just want to have fun. Look at a raptor. The first thing you’ll probably notice is its sharp teeth. But are we going to degrade an entire populace for their teeth? When you look at me, the first thing you notice are my teeth. Does this mean I’m a raving, carnivorous killing machine? No. The same goes … Continue reading Jurassic Park PSA: Raptors are people, too

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A plea on behalf of Hunger Games

Shaun

Dear Hollywood,

Please don’t mess up the Hunger Games movie. If there is one movie in the next decade that you get right, make it this one. There are way too many factors riding on this movie being successful. I’ve included a list below that will numerically express what these factors are in order.

1. My happiness: If you do to this movie what Joel Shumacher did to Batman and Bane, I will send a vial of my tears to your corporate office.

2. Jennifer Lawrence: She’s a nice girl coming off an Oscar nomination and a good turn as Mystique in X-Men: First Class. Don’t ruin her career.

3. Fans: This book has fans. You will make them sad if this movie is terrible.

A trailer was shown of Hunger Games in which our hero Katniss is seen in the wilderness with her bow. Then a bunch of fire starts blasting, referencing the scene in the book where fire starts blasting. Okay, cool. Looks good. Then I find out that, since they started filming, this scene is all they had. Really? In all this time, you have shots of a bunch of trees? That’s like saying “We’re hard at work at The Dark Knight Rises,” but then only having footage of buildings. So far, all I’ve seen is this weak trailer and a bunch of movie posters featuring the different characters posing with different levels of brooding. Continue reading “A plea on behalf of Hunger Games”