Tag: Shaun

Blogs, Facts of Life, ShaunLeave a comment

Words to Live By: Death Philosophy, Redux

Shaun

In the second installment in my “Words to Live By” series, I take a look at death. Again.

In the first installment, I took a look at how people die. But the how is a variable, dependent on the individual. What’s not a variable is the end result, which brings me to my point. Everybody dies. And then what? One of the most common and divisive topics regarding death is the decision to be buried or cremated. And here are my thoughts. Continue reading “Words to Live By: Death Philosophy, Redux”

Blogs, Facts of Life, Shaun1 Comment

Taylor Swift and Besties

Shaun

Dear Diary,

The existential quandary of all existential quandary, the likes of which I’m not convinced I’ve ever been faced with before. An earth shattering revelation have I unintentionally just now stumbled upon. If you had asked me who, if I had any choice in the world, I would want to be my best celebrity friend, I would have told you Steve Nash with nary a hesitation. But now, a new candidate has entered the fray.

Taylor Swift and I are destined to be best friends. Now, I know what you’re thinking, but my intentions are completely plutonic. I just think we’d have a really fun time together. It’s nothing original; I’m sure I share this desire with many an American teenage girl. But I can’t deny it. Continue reading “Taylor Swift and Besties”

Blogs, Facts of Life, Shaun1 Comment

Words To Live By: Death Philosophy

Shaun

This week I’m starting a new installment in my weekly blogs called Words to Live By. This week, here are some of my life philosophies regarding death. I feel like falling to your death is not a bad way to go. If you can reconcile the fact that yes, you are going to die from this fall, and come to terms with it, you can actually sort of enjoy the moment. Some people pay upwards of 500 dollars for skydiving. You get to do it for free. With that said, I would not want to die in a plane crash. … Continue reading Words To Live By: Death Philosophy

Blogs, Shaun, Video GamesLeave a comment

Gaming’s worst conventions

Shaun

A few weeks ago, a friend and I were going over things that we hated and wished would burn in a terrible fire. I threw out frivolous things that bother me, like “Michael Bay movies” or “Fortunetellers who try to get you to believe they know you by saying things like ‘Sometimes things happen in life that don’t quite meet your expectations.’” He said things decidedly less frivolous, like “my parents” and “people who disagree with me.” I realized at this moment we were not playing the same game and became very uncomfortable.

Anyway, considering this “hate list” got me thinking about different aspects in the video game industry that need to take a permanent hiatus. They don’t have to go home, but they gots to get the hell out of here!

…Sorry, I just always wanted to say that, and I never had a party where people had to leave quickly. Or any kind of party, really.

Continue reading “Gaming’s worst conventions”

Blogs, Facts of Life, Shaun1 Comment

Long Distance Relationships: The Ballad of Seamus and Jaxie

Shaun

In a world where cats can talk, there once existed two cats: Seamus and Jaxie.

As you may have guessed, Seamus and Jaxie were in love, and their love was as real and pure as cat love could possibly be — the kind of love that drastically transmutes perspectives and seemingly ionizes the very air around their adorable cat bodies. Tragically, as most love stories are, the yarn spun from the spool of their lives could not remain intertwined indefinitely. Because even in the cat world, life gets in the way.

Seamus hailed from the harsh, Irish desert, where he was the slave to a cruel cat lord. The terms of his enslavement were dire; so much so, in fact, that Seamus was rendered ignorant to the world outside the walls of his captivity, blinded to the possibilities that life could hold for him. Majestic fountains, where milk flows like water. Spools of yarn, as far as the eye can see. Low-flying birds, every direction you turn. And, above all, love. All of it eluded Seamus. That is, until the day he met Jaxie. Continue reading “Long Distance Relationships: The Ballad of Seamus and Jaxie”

Blogs, Entertainment, Shaun2 Comments

Paraboring Activity

Shaun

“I couldn’t use the bathroom with the door closed for a week after watching it.”

“I needed a night light in my room.”

“I stopped watching it halfway, and I still can’t sleep with my door open anymore.”

These are all actual testimonials from some people I know after they watched Paranormal Activity. Well, I finally summoned the courage to see what the hype was. I wanted to be traumatized for life. Instead, I got one man’s idiotic journey to provoke the supernatural, and the world’s most pansy demon. Continue reading “Paraboring Activity”

Blogs, Entertainment, ShaunLeave a comment

Jurassic Park PSA: Raptors are people, too

Shaun

I watched Jurassic Park the other day. I’ve decided that raptors aren’t as bad as people think. Velociraptors have an unwarranted reputation. Put aside your bias generated from years of watching the Jurassic Park propaganda, and I think you’ll agree with me. Raptors just want to have fun. Look at a raptor. The first thing you’ll probably notice is its sharp teeth. But are we going to degrade an entire populace for their teeth? When you look at me, the first thing you notice are my teeth. Does this mean I’m a raving, carnivorous killing machine? No. The same goes … Continue reading Jurassic Park PSA: Raptors are people, too

Blogs, Entertainment, ShaunLeave a comment

A plea on behalf of Hunger Games

Shaun

Dear Hollywood,

Please don’t mess up the Hunger Games movie. If there is one movie in the next decade that you get right, make it this one. There are way too many factors riding on this movie being successful. I’ve included a list below that will numerically express what these factors are in order.

1. My happiness: If you do to this movie what Joel Shumacher did to Batman and Bane, I will send a vial of my tears to your corporate office.

2. Jennifer Lawrence: She’s a nice girl coming off an Oscar nomination and a good turn as Mystique in X-Men: First Class. Don’t ruin her career.

3. Fans: This book has fans. You will make them sad if this movie is terrible.

A trailer was shown of Hunger Games in which our hero Katniss is seen in the wilderness with her bow. Then a bunch of fire starts blasting, referencing the scene in the book where fire starts blasting. Okay, cool. Looks good. Then I find out that, since they started filming, this scene is all they had. Really? In all this time, you have shots of a bunch of trees? That’s like saying “We’re hard at work at The Dark Knight Rises,” but then only having footage of buildings. So far, all I’ve seen is this weak trailer and a bunch of movie posters featuring the different characters posing with different levels of brooding. Continue reading “A plea on behalf of Hunger Games”