All hail the bullets! Just got through a long weekend where I worked a 12-hour shift, rushed down to Phoenix to be a groomsman for a wedding, shuttled all over the city to see a variety of people, then dragged … Continue reading Number Seven With a Bullet
The Phoenix Suns season preview: Playoff bound That’s right. You read the headline correctly. For the first time in two years, the Suns are heading to the playoffs. And not as the 8th seed as the sacrificial lambs to whichever … Continue reading 2012 – 2013 Phoenix Suns Season Preview: Playoff Bound
We haven’t had bullets for a long time now. I think part of that is because there’s been plenty of stuff going on, both related and unrelated to the show. But we’re back, mostly thanks to a weird work schedule … Continue reading Number Six With a Bullet
I tried to come up with something fantastic this week. I did. But I’ve been sick since Thursday thanks to my body breaking down from stress, so I guess the creative spark was…lacking.
Instead, we’re going back to that quick-hit bullet gimmick that America loves! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Continue reading “Number Five With a Bullet”
This season of Suns basketball sure did suck, didn’t it?
I mean, from the lockout and not knowing if we’re even going to have a season, to the Suns’ horrific start, to then missing the playoffs in a rather excruciating way in the last week of the season, it was tough all around. Yet I watched as much of it as I could.
And Steve Nash is the reason why. Continue reading “Dr. StrangeNash. Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Basketball Again”
We’ve seen this one before: down to the last few games of a season, and an Arizona team pretty much needs to win every single one to get into the playoffs. This time, it’s our beloved Phoenix Suns. In our info page, two out of three of us mention how much we love the Suns, and we even did an entire segment of how much we hated Vince Carter for being a cancer to the Suns. But that’s really the extent of how much we’ve spoken of our favorite team on this website.
Until now. Continue reading “Planet Orange”
Look, I know. It’s a copout. But it’s been a rough week. I’ve been working extra because someone’s on a vacation. I spent last weekend (and three days in the week) in Phoenix for my grandpa’s open heart surgery (which had a variety of complications, but he’s doing better now). All of that activity has me sick now, staring at another long work week.
So you get bullets. And you will like it. Continue reading “Number Three With a Bullet”
Sometimes you oversleep and you wake up and realize that you have a post to put up.
See, I got a new pillow-top mattress lately. And while the jury is still out on whether it’s good for my back or not, the fact remains that I’ve been sleeping way more soundly for the last week or so. That’s good.
Unfortunately, it also means I’ve blown through my alarm a couple of times. And when you’re the person responsible for putting up essentially every single thing on the site, that’s when mistakes happen.
So instead, here’s a bulleted list of little things that have been on my mind recently: Continue reading “Number Two with a Bullet”
I’m tired of Dave being the only one who writes sports every single week, like he has the corner on the sports market and is shutting us out. To deny him his monopolistic intentions, I’m going to write about sports. So there. Suck on that, Dave.
Suns fans are idiots. I said it. Sure, there are exceptions. I’m an exception. But when you judge a population, you base it off a whole. And the base says that Suns fans are moronic.
They demonstrate this idiocy in many ways. Getting disappointed and jumping off the bandwagon any season the Suns don’t contend for a title. Formulating impossible trade theories for superstars like “Sebastian Telfair and Hakim Warrick for Dwight Howard. The salaries match!” Demanding that we trade Channing Frye when he doesn’t hit 90 percent from three.
However, the greatest example of Suns fan stupidness is, and has always been, their view of Steve Nash, and their willingness to trade him. Suns fans have long insisted we’ve held on to Nash for way too long, and derided the front office for this decision.
Here is my resume for the Phoenix Suns’ Floor Mopper position that just opened up.
Shaun El-Ters
My Mom’s Basement, Close Enough to Suns’ Stadium
pleasegivemethisjobplease@gmail.com
928-867-5309
Utilize my excellent mopping skills, superb mop history, and quick reaction time to become a Phoenix Suns’ floor mopper. Continue reading “Jaw on the Floor”
Gray Areas 