I’m on vacation. I don’t feel like writing anything this week. At all. So if you were hoping for some compelling insight from yours truly, just go ahead and stop reading now. Not only do I not feel like writing anything, but I can’t STOP ITCHING MY STUPID FOOT. Allow me to explain
So there I was, humming “It’s Gonna Be Me,” while walking along abandoned train tracks covered in spider webs, when all of a sudden, this DOUCHEBAG wasp comes out of nowhere and stabs me on the foot. Now my foot is swollen to the size of a softball and won’t stop itching. In the back of my mind, I have to think that a blood clot or something is going to happen down there and then BOOM. Dead. Goodbye, hopes and dreams. That bee saw my dreams and-OH MY GOD THERE’S A SPIDER IN THIS BED.
(15 minutes later)
I’m okay. It was just an ant. But, like, a really big ant. Probably poisonous or something. Anyways, where was I? I’m hungry. People say to enjoy yourself on vacation. Let loose with your inhibitions. Eat what you want. Bring back hookers to yo…I mean, snort a bunch of co…that is, just try to have fun and not worry stress the small things. You know who says that? FATTIES. I have not moved a muscle since I got here, and my diet has consisted of meat and candy. I literally have consumed three cows in as many days, and washed them down with ice cream bars. Water? What’s that? Unless you mean the liquidy stuff at the bottom of an ice cream bowl, I have no idea what you’re talking ab-JESUS CHRIST THE SPIDER IS BACK AGAIN.
(20 minutes later)
We’re good. I made sure not to kill it. It’s my solemn promise that unless it’s a poisonous spider or scorpion or something, I try not to kill insects. Because life is life, you know what I’m saying? And you don’t want to end up in a James and the Giant Peach situation, where you’re faced with a bunch of huge, conscious, thinking insects, and you just stomped on uncle Spider Flannigan the day before. That situation does not end well for you.
Talking in accents is fun.
Well, that was riveting. See you next week.
Gray Areas 
Poor Shaun……Hope your foot is better soon. And no, I do not believe the stuff left at the bottom of the ice cream bowl would be considered healthy liquids………
I gotta be honest… I woke up this morning and no jokies thought me writing this blog was a weird dream I had last night.
G’Day! Shaun,
I take your point, Many people do not care to keep a diary for various reasons. Maybe someone got a hold of it once and poured through their deepest, darkest secrets. Or perhaps their lives are so dull that they feel there is no point in writing one. However, when blogs were created, people began to rethink their decision. They enjoyed the popularity so much that having other people read it became a pleasure, not an embarrassment. When a blog is written well and formed correctly, more and more visitors will start to follow your posts, and even post replies of their own. So if you want to have a great blog too, use the following tips.
Nice One!