Family Guy: Shut up

When I was a freshman in college, there wasn’t a more popular show than Family Guy in my dorm. Despite the fact that it had been off the air for a couple of years, the DVDs of that show were on almost every night in someone’s dorm room. The show used jokes that were funny, witty and just plain goofy at times. (Like when Peter was setting up a picnic outside with a red blanket and a bull came and pulverized him.)

The characters were likable as well. Lois was the well-meaning matriarch, Peter was the irresponsible yet loving husband, the kids were normal, Brian was a talking dog and Stewie was an evil baby. All of them fit together well in their own ways.

Yet…the show was canceled. Continue reading “Family Guy: Shut up”

9 Changes I Want to See in the Wii U Zelda

I live and breathe Zelda. It’s no secret. I’m not ashamed. I write fan fictions. I spend hours theorizing over timeline possibilities. And I immerse myself in each and every title in the series as deeply as possible. You’re starting to get weirded out, but stay with me.

Last year, I wrote an article about suggestions I had for Skyward Sword. Much to my surprise, Nintendo incorporated very few of them. Somehow, the game still managed to be a great success, blending sharp motion gameplay with an intriguing story and a thing I like to call Zelda magic.

With the new Zelda game being worked on for the Wii U, I think it’s time for another round of ideas and speculation. Shigeru Miyamoto has said that Skyward Sword is the “last Zelda of its kind,” suggesting that series is in for an overhaul. Here are some changes I would like to see that would radically change the formula, take advantage of the tablet functionality, and yet stay true to the Zelda spirit. Continue reading “9 Changes I Want to See in the Wii U Zelda”

Holidaze

Did everyone have a good holiday?

What? You mean you didn’t get the great holiday of Earth Day off of work? Well, good thing that Arbor Day is coming up, we’ll get to take some time to celebrate that right? Oh, you don’t know what day that actually is (I didn’t either, it’s the last Friday in April).

When I say the word holiday, usually people think of Christmas, or Thanksgiving. But there are all sorts of weird holidays out there that most people don’t observe, or even know exist. I think that I’m going to use this space to educate America about our lesser known holidays. Who knows? You might just find that new holiday to love and embrace. Continue reading “Holidaze”

Freedom of Speech

Congress shall make no law respecting a establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.    

Ah, the First Amendment, one of the founding ideals of why we love this country so much. There are countries in this world still today where if you were to speak ill of the president/dictator/leader du jour, you’d be thrown in prison and locked away. In this country we enjoy such freedoms as allowing people to “occupy” areas in protest as long as they are peacefully assembled.

Unfortunately, some people don’t get what this really means. Continue reading “Freedom of Speech”

One and Done

Faithful At the Buzzer blogger readers, I have news. After our first year on the internet, I’ve decided that I’m going to follow college basketball’s example and declare myself “one and done.” That’s right, I’m going pro.

I mean, can you blame me? All of the sudden, I got a call from the Huffington Post saying that they wanted my hard-hitting blog action and were going to pay me a 6 figure salary. You can bet your buzzer that I’m going to take that job and leave my co-hosts in the dust to become a two-man show. Continue reading “One and Done”

Making Millions

Recently I happened to catch a commercial saying that the Mega Millions jackpot had reached $300 million. 300 million smackeroos for buying a $1 ticket and getting some numbers right. Usually you see the people who win these are either the elderly or the backwoods poor people who then have no idea what to do with it when they win. Hell, as we covered on our episode last week, people sometimes even throw away their winning tickets. Now the chances of winning this are slim to none, but seeing that made me wonder, what would I do if I ever did win Mega Millions?

First, let’s quickly look at a story of a person that went broke, and we’ve got a doozy for you: Billy Bob Harrell. Billy Bob won $31 million from the Texas Lottery. Life was good for a while…until he couldn’t say no to anyone, including his wife, who asked for a divorce. Billy Bob literally gave away all his money, falling into depression until he eventually committed suicide.

Now that I’ve thoroughly depressed you, I’ll tell you there’s no way that this would ever happen to me. I’ve worked in finance and banking too long to blow through everything that quickly. I can, however, tell you what I’d do. If this is too logical for you, I apologize. Maybe Shaun can do the “buy your own island and conduct mad scientist experiments” blog post on Friday. Let’s assume for these purposes (because it’s easy) that I took the lump sum and only got about 60% of the $300 million. Let’s also assume I have no kids in this scenario, because…well, I don’t. Continue reading “Making Millions”