Letter to Peyton

Dear Peyton,

Hey, how’s it going? I know you’ve been busy with traveling around the country so I’ll keep this brief: Could you please come to Arizona to play for us?

I can’t begin to imagine all that’s going through your mind lately. You’ve got to feel like your wife just dumped you for a new, younger man…yet you’ve got supermodels running after you trying to have your baby. It’s got to be confusing. You thought you were going to spend your entire life with Indy, yet she left you because you cost too much and got too old. Well we don’t think you’re too old, Peyton; in fact, you’re just right for us, and we’re just right for you. Continue reading “Letter to Peyton”

Breaking Up with Video Games

Part three of “Getting Older Sucks”

What do most people do in their free time? Watch TV? Talk to friends? Cook? Clean? Play video games? For me, I used to play video games a lot in my spare time. I would find the newest sports title and just play it until I could win every game by calling the same play. Or I would get a new platform game, and obsessively play it through once til I beat it and found most of the hidden goodies.

Nowadays…they’re just not that important to me. Continue reading “Breaking Up with Video Games”

Rack Focus: Review: The Artist

As I live in Los Angeles, I am an avid listener to the hilarious Kevin & Bean Show in the mornings on KROQ 106.7 FM. This past Tuesday, Kevin was complaining about The Artist, this year’s apparent frontrunner for the Best Picture Oscar at this year’s Academy Awards. Not only does our man Kevin dislike the film, but he has gone as far as to call it “utter BS.”

He has, of course, made up his mind having never seen the film, under the guise that it is for hipsters and intellectuals. They’re all wrong, but we’re going to circle back to that.

In the meantime, let me explain a little bit about The Artist. Here we have a silent film about the silent film era, specifically focusing on the transition into the talkies. Many silent film stars lost their livelihood when sound came along, and more than a few ended their lives when they were told their careers as movie stars were over. Those who could afford to reinvent themselves did just that, and such is the path of our protagonist, George Valentin (Jean Dujardin), a Frenchman who has spent his career singing and dancing and emoting without the aid of words. When sound hits the street, his success hits the skids, and he’s left to navigate the ways of filmmaking with only his faithful dog and his faithful driver (James Cromwell). Continue reading “Rack Focus: Review: The Artist”

Dunk You Very Much

I jumped up as high as I could, stretched my arm out as far as I could, and by mere inches I got that tennis ball up and over the rim.

That’s the closest I’ve ever come to doing the coolest thing one can do on a basketball court: dunking. I was 15 years old and on my JV basketball team in high school.  While many attempts of dunking an actual basketball were made (I once got a women’s ball in, but it couldn’t have been called a dunk), I never hit that point. Now, 12 years later, my chances of dunking on a 10-foot hoop are pretty much shot.

Monday night, Blake Griffin showed the world once again that he’s some sort of inhuman basketball monster. His dunk over Kendrick Perkins sent the basketball world (and me) into a frenzy. That got me to thinking something that has been debated many times over the years: What are the 10 best dunks of all time? Continue reading “Dunk You Very Much”

Running Man

People have been running since the dawn of humanity. Really, it used to be the only possible way to get around. Then we got bikes and horses and cars and Segways, and running got left by the wayside. I was fully guilty of this; I despised running. A treadmill was my nightmare; a run around the neighborhood was pure torture for me. I’m still blown away by the fact that I just ran three miles tonight. For me, the only type of exercise I was able to get was through some sort of sport. Basketball, kickball, softball, golf, racquetball — … Continue reading Running Man

Birthdays: Then and Now

A second in a series tentatively called: Getting older.

Birthdays used to mean something as a kid. It was a time for you to have delicious cake and ice cream, and invite about a million friends over to your house so that they’d all get you some sort of toy that you mostly didn’t need.

I used to count down to my birthday. “I’m 6 and 5/12ths,” I would say sometime around my sister’s birthday in May. (Remember, it’s all about me when you’re 5 years old. [Also…I was a huge nerd {and still am} for saying 5/12ths.]) Continue reading “Birthdays: Then and Now”

The Return of Beavis and Butt-Head

Beavis and Butt-Head is one of the signature shows of the 1990s, whether you enjoyed the show or not. For better or worse, it was the target of both praise and criticism throughout its first run that ended in 1997.

The show returned this year, with the first new season ending last week. Upon its revival, it instantly became MTV’s best show…again. Continue reading “The Return of Beavis and Butt-Head”

I Call B(C)S

This week brought on the New Year, and the start of college football’s meaningful bowl games. (Sorry folks, the winner of the Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl won’t live on in eternal lore.) With those meaningful bowl games, great games tend to follow. Monday was no exception, with two of the best BCS bowls that I’ve ever seen: Oregon beating Wisconsin, and Oklahoma State beating Stanford (in OT).

With the excitement of those games still fresh in my mind, and the snooze-fest that is sure to be the BCS National Championship game (really…LSU vs. Alabama, if we set the over/under at 20, would they make it? Last time they didn’t), it’s got me coming back to the same argument that we have in college football every year: Why the hell don’t we have a playoff? Continue reading “I Call B(C)S”

Meet the New Year, Same as the Old Year

I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s.

My holiday priority list has already been pretty well established around these parts. It’s Christmas first, then everything else way down the list. Thanksgiving’s No. 2. Independence Day’s probably third because of all the good food and fireworks.

New Year’s? It’s somewhere between Bastille Day and Columbus Day. Hell, Columbus Day might be above New Year’s, and it’s a holiday that celebrates an explorer who screwed up just about everything he did. Continue reading “Meet the New Year, Same as the Old Year”

Vote Shaun in 2012

I interrupt my normally scheduled article for this important announcement. Ladies and gentlemen of America, if you’ve been following the show, you know that I’ve made an important announcement. I’m running for president in 2012. I think I stand a good shot, but my campaign strategy is critical. So here it is. I’ve made a realization: I’ve been playing it safe. I just made a drive across the country with a dollar in my pocket, and yet I continue to post conservative gaming columns like I work at Conservative Gaming Monthly. Well, no more; I have a presidency to think … Continue reading Vote Shaun in 2012